A while back I was in one of those phases where you start questioning your entire existence. What am I doing? Where am I going? Is this really the life I want? Why do I feel so disconnected from myself? Very existential and very human.

And then, in the middle of all that questioning, I met a nine-year-old girl. Somehow, she reminded me of everything I had forgotten.We started talking, and she began telling me about all the things she wanted to become when she grew up. She wanted to be a fashion designer. She told me she makes clothes for her dolls herself. She cuts up balloons to make little dresses for them and sews tiny pieces of fabric together. I remember thinking, wait, that was literally me. I used to do exactly those kinds of things as a child.Then she told me she wanted to become a scientist, specifically an archaeologist, because she wanted to dig up dinosaur remains and skulls. She wanted tobecome an architect and work on huge buildings. And she also wanted to own a sweet shop. So many dreams for such a tiny human.

But what struck me wasn't just how many things she wanted to be. It was how unapologetically she wanted them. There was no hesitation. No “but is that practical?” No “what if I fail?” No “am I good enough?” No worrying about what anyone else might think. She simply wanted things because they fascinated her. She was curious, ambitious, completely full of life, and somehow so caring and compassionate at the same time.

I kept listening to her and thinking, that was me. I was her. We spend years listening to everyone else’s voices until we can barely hear our own. Family, school, friends, society and all of them quietly shape our ideas of who we should be, what success should look like, and what kind of life we should want. And especially as women, we’re often expected to be so many things at once successful, caring, responsible, accommodating, ambitious, but never too ambitious. Somewhere along the way, our own wants can become the easiest thing to sacrifice.

Slowly, we become good at being who we’re supposed to be. Until one day, we stop and think, wait, where am I in all of this? Maybe finding yourself isn’t about becoming someone new. Maybe it’s about remembering who you were before all the noise. That little girl wasn’t just telling me who she wanted to become. Without knowing it, she was reminding me who I used to be. And perhaps, every once in a while, life sends someone into our path to remind us. For me, it was a nine-year-old girl that reminded me of the who I used to be.